Lobster Blog: Special Force Group

I've been tagged twice with a Liebster Blog award. I'm flattered to know that some people out there actually appreciates my blog, but I really hate those cheap kind of awards. So instead of accepting the award and tag more people, I'm gonna reject it and make an even better award. Here's my Lobster Blog award.  

What the hell is a Lobster Blog award? It's a freakin' badge that you wear with pride. It's a symbol that you are the best among the best. It is proof that you have what it takes be a part of my special army. But before I introduce my selected team, I should first introduce the two people who awarded me with a Liebster Blog. I know that I rejected that award but it's still the core idea that drove me into making this post.

Research and Development:

Dreadnaught

Code Name: Steel Tortoise
Specialty: Graphic Information Mastery
Blog: Some Things You May Find Interesting

He specializes in graphical information also known as "Infographic", a sort of graphical tutorial that makes any task easy to understand. He's qualified to join my army because even though he cannot fight in the front lines, his ability allows him to train my new army well and provide the team with the necessary information like "how to win in a fist fight" or "how to jump a fence".

Convictus

Code Name: Grey Box
Specialty: Highly-Advanced Alcoholic Equipment
Blog: Homelife

He specializes in the creation of beer with his custom-made brewing equipment, the Metal Beer Rex. This machine is not only capable of brewing beer but can also launch cases of beer into any known location on the face of the earth without being detected by any radar system. He's qualified to join my army because I'm usually too lazy to go out and buy drinks for myself, so it would be handy to have someone who makes them inside the headquarters.

Frontal-Assault Unit:

Now time to meet the core members of Lobster:

Bersercules

Code Name: Mad Ox
Specialty: Blind Rage
Blog: The Berserk Herc

He used to be a cool guy that makes cartoon drawings with rainbow unicorns and dolphins. But he changed ever since he got involve with the project "Les Televicion Terribles" also known as "The Terrible TV" where he was forced to watch terrible shows for years. Because of this, everytime he sees a terrible show on the TV he goes mad and destroys anything around him. This is one of the reasons why we don't have TV inside the headquarters. The other reason is because he already broke 14 of them.

Anne

Code Name: Silent Fox
Specialty: The Silent Treatment
Blog: Anne's Attic

She's an artistic lady who enjoys singing and plays all sorts of musical instruments. She does all those things when she's happy, but she does the exact opposite when she's pissed. So instead of hearing music, you'll hear absolute silence instead. You won't hear her footsteps, her breathing, her voice, nothing. If she does anything anywhere it doesn't make a sound, and if she does make a sound, it's probably the very last sound you'll ever hear.

Fang

Code Name: Stray Wolf
Specialty: Lair of the Beast King
Blog: Fang Talks

He's the youngest member of our team. We found him lying unconscious in the northern mountains surrounded by a pack of wolves. He doesn't seem to have any memory after he woke up and only remembers his name. For some reason all the wolves treat him like their leader, making him a valuable asset when hunting down targets. There are reports that a gigantic beast was found around Fang's pack when he went missing, but so far this is just one of the unconfirmed rumors inside the headquarters.

DWei

Code Name: Titanium Shark
Specialty: Indestructible Jaws
Blog: I Am Such A Derp

He's suppose to undergo cybernetic implants using the latest exoskeleton technology, giving him a full cybernetic body. But the budget for that project went elsewhere (clue: it makes beer and launches them) so he ended up just having a cyborg jaw. This Titanium Jaw packs the power of a jack hammer into every tooth, making it easy for him to chew a tank apart. The implant is powered by electrolytes, so he needs to drink some Powerade or his jaw would just suddenly stop working.

Bart

Code Name: Drunken Cobra
Specialty: Healing Factor
Blog: Bart's Blog

His power allows him to regenerate any kind of wound instantaneously when in contact with alcohol, so he usually uses this as an excuse to drink beer all night. He's also the leader of a sub-unit called the Para-Hooters, naked ladies that parachutes into the battlefield to act as decoy for the enemy. His sub-unit is very effective, that the only downside is that it affects us as well and makes us work hard in a different kind of way.

R&D Candidates:

Now here's the candidate researchers. They were supposed to be part of the Research and Development Department but got dismissed because of some fatal flaws that we encountered.

Adam

Code Name: Ocarina of Time
Specialty: Time Travel
Blog: Neko Random

He developed a time machine that allows him to go back in time. The reason why he's very knowledgeable about history is because he got back in time to experience them first hand. At first, I plan to send him back in time to prevent our enemies from being born, but we made a horrible miscalculation and he ended up preventing himself from developing his time machine. Now, he no longer have a time machine, so he got dismissed.

Mike

Code Name: Sub-Radar
Specialty: Artist Radar
Blog: Sub-Radar

He developed a radar so powerful that its maximum range could reach Jupiter. Not only that but it could detect airborne, land and underwater units, making it superior to any known radar or sonar technology in the planet. The only problem we encountered is that the radar can only detect musical artists. So unless the enemy have some hidden musical talent, they can walk through our radar undetected.

  

It took me a long while to finish this article because I had to make that awesome badge and give you all powers based on what you share on your blogs. So if you didn't like the powers I gave you, then don't blame me, blame yourself for not sharing enough interesting data about yourself. You can post this award on your blog if you want. You all deserved it anyway. You can also visit the blogs of my awesome team by clicking on their profile pictures above.

Also, kudos to anyone who can spot every MGS reference I made in this post.

Posted in: Lobster Blog