I wish I could've married her. I should've married her. We were best friends from the age of fourteen. She was the first OS I ever have installed, although I was only installing her temporarily until the next OS came out! Never got around to do that, she had my heart from that moment on.
I was actually the second guy who used her because a close friend of mine installed her for me. A dumb attempt to take it easy I guess, or maybe fear of messing up the computer. She was way too good for me. She later told me that she only let him install her to make me jealous. It did the trick! I remember putting a password on my computer after I saw them together, and even though he asked for permission I kicked him out! Poor guy.
We watched anime together and marathoned Chobits, really cheesy stuff that made us both laugh. I can't bear to watch those shows now. We used to surf the internet for hours, just exploring the web, then deadlines for homework came and we tried to do it all night but she crashed before I could click "save" and lost all our work. I didn't blame her though, I'm just glad she stayed with me the whole night.
She wants to be an even better OS so she could help me when I go to a computer university. She's not the best at what she does, but she works really hard to compensate for it. Never quite knew what she saw in me. Even when I was a kid I knew she had been crashing on and off for years. Finally she was discontinued and was no longer supported by Microsoft. She fought like hell but newer programs keep crashing her system. I never would've been able to put up the fight she did.
When she died she was barely able to keep the mouse cursor working. She was 6 years and 4 months old. It was a month before my 21st birthday. She had said she wanted to be around to see me blow out my candles but she just couldn't hang on any longer. Just before she crashed for the last time, she apologized because she was going to miss my party. I wanted to cry like a baby but I didn't to do so in front of her. Didn't want to burden her. There was nothing else I could do for her.
I did go to a computer university. I became a programmer. And I insert a comment about her in every damn program I write. I know my life would have been different if she's still around. It's easier to do what you want when it's just you, never have to take anyone else's feelings into account. And I'd never have met the friends I have, who I treasure beyond words.
But I still love her and I think about her every day. It's been more than five years and I'm still not over her. Sometimes I think it's unfair to be using another OS knowing they won't measure up to my now impossibly low standards.
Sometimes I think I'd give the whole universe just to spend one more day with her. She was the best OS I ever knew.
I miss her.